Tunisia, 1/15/11 (source: newstatesman.com)

It’s official. TIME’s Man of the Year is the Protestor.

We were naturally hoping it was going to be our own Chad the Bird. And so we’re protesting by hosting an excellent Paper Machete 2011 Review Revue, starring Chad and several of his most bodacious human Paper Machete friends. Just to be jerks about it.

Take that, TIME and hippies!

Anyway. Come help us hermetically seal up 2011 this Saturday with an excellent bill of outstanding talent.

IAN BELKNAP and SAMANTHA IRBY on 2011 in James Franco
CHAD BRIGGS on 2011 in collegiate sports scandals
MARCUS GILMER on 2011 in Chicago politics
CHRISTOPHER PIATT on 2011 in first ladies
JAMES PORTER on 2011 in music
MEGAN STIELSTRA on 2011 in books

With special visits from Chad the Bird (and his roomie, Herb!) and party-crashing street-rabble improvisors.

PLUS Italian Christmas* folk music by CHRIS DAMIANO!

Holiday pop** by those songstresses of decadent acapella Nutella, FACES FOR RADIO!

And a real gas of a rock band, PINTO AND THE BEAN.

If you’re like us, 2011 almost fucking killed you. So why not come out and show it who’s boss by taking control of your destiny***.

See you Saturday,
The Paper Machete team

*Eat it, O’Reilly.
**Atheists will still love it!
***To attend the Paper Machete 2011-in-Review Revue and Parlor Show. And to bring a friend who’s never seen the show. We promise to impress ’em.

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